Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I knew I'd be a crappy blogger

Well, it's been a good 4 months since I last blogged, so I guess it's time for another. I think I left off at Chemo no. 5. I had a few bad ones in the middle there, and we had to lower my dose once. After that it was a lot more bearable. I still felt bad for about a week, and then usually would have one good week in between. I only had one infection due to my low white blood count. I guess that's a good thing, but I was one sick girl. It was just a little cold, but it felt like I would die because I had nothing in me to fight it off. I didn't die by the way, I'm just dramatic.

I tried to work a little bit, but it was just too much. Chemotherapy is a job in itself. Get sick, then get better. It's a cycle that never seemed to end. But it did! Hooray! My last chemo was June 4th. I honestly never thought I'd see the end. It got pretty tough to stick it out for the last few treatments. I'm not going to lie, I wanted to quit a few times. But I pushed past the urges and fought on.

It's only been about 3 weeks since I finished, but I'm doing great and it's already turning into a distant memory. I no longer think about it 24/7 because I'm not really that sick anymore. My body is healing and it feels so good to be in control again. I've even started exercising again! It was pretty discouraging the first few times. My muscles are so weak and I don't have much endurance. I was really into running before all of this mess started, but now I can barely even run for 5 minutes straight. It's amazing how fast you can lose it. I've started doing Pilates and Yoga because they're a little less intensity than running for an hour straight. Hopefully I will get back there soon.

I have a PET scan next week. I haven't had one since before I started chemo, so it's a pretty big deal. I have so many mixed emotions about it. I feel nervous, worried, excited, scared, anxious, happy, and sad. I'm mostly excited and nervous. I really do feel positive and I'm only trying to think of positive things beforehand, but I can't help but be nervous. It's probably just a result of everything I've been through and unavoidable. Every time I have a test for the rest of my life I'm sure I will be a little nervous and scared. I have my PET scan next Wednesday, and the following Wednesday I will meet with my Oncologist to discuss the results.

Once we get the all clear from the Oncology appt, I will meet with my Surgeon the very next day to discuss my next surgery. We will schedule it that day for sometime in July I expect. I'm very excited for this because after that, I will pretty much be all done with everything. It should go smoothly (unlike my previous surgeries) and I should heal fairly quickly.

The end is near, and I couldn't me happier about it. I've been able to do a lot of fun things despite my situation these past few months, and I'm looking forward to getting my life back. I want to feel like a healthy 25 year old again.

I'll try to post more often, especially since I've got some pretty important dates coming up.